My seventeen year old self would walk right past me on the street and not recognize me, and sometimes I wonder if I ever was that beautiful, sunny person.
Tag Archives: love
I’m tired of struggling. The rest of my life feels like an interminably long time and I keep wondering if I die will I..
I didn’t bother to wake up early to say goodbye to my friends.
I didn’t realise then, that I’d never see Zikora and Toke again.
Getting my IUD put in in America was such a huge contrast with my numerous frustrating attempts to get some sort of semi-permanent birth control in Nigeria.
In the almost two years I have lived here however, it has remained cold and empty, and fewer than three people have come through the door in all that time.
It’s weird. This blog has kept me company through some of the darkest times of my life, but I’ve never written about the love of my life here.
How many times have we heard of, and seen first hand, Nigerian women who thought they were in steady, serious relationships, only for their boyfriend to send them invitation cards to his wedding (to someone else) out of the blue?
Besides struggling with constant suicidal thoughts, I’ve suffered from utter apathy for little over a year now. Nothing excites me anymore, nothing makes me happy anymore. Just when I thought I was at my darkest moment, I met someone on Twitter and fell in love.
If my seventeen year old self could see me now, she’d be very surprised. This isn’t how I imagined being twenty-five would be at all. I really believed that by twenty-five I would be a full-fledged adult with my life thoroughly together, probably even married, and with a baby on the way.
Somehow that hasn’t happened yet, and in a few hours, I will be six years into my twenties without a fucking clue what I am doing or where I am going with my life.
Especially when that Nigerian is me. I’ve been freezing my butt off in Washington, DC for the past week now which is surprising because..
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You are VICTORIOUS! I pray for additional Grace & strength to overcome whatever is remaining of those dark days. Remain strong.
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