Nighttime Thoughts of Rape – Part 1

It gets lonely at nights, and I think a lot.

Sometimes I wander down memory lane, and then I think too much.

I don’t really know where I was going with this.

I just feel sad tonight, and I needed to get some things off my chest.

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  1. Zizi

    Baby girl,

    I need you to heal. You’ve achieved the first step which so many people cant. You’ve come to terms with it. Please see someone professionally for this. And don’t keep going back, you’re only harming yourself.

    • sugabelly

      Thank you.
      Sadly, I don’t think healing is within my reach anymore.
      I feel stuck where I am. Only healed just enough to keep going but still bleeding every now and again and still in so much pain.

  2. activeghman

    You may feel that healing is not within your reach anymore but there is light at the end of the tunnel. You have began the process of cartharsis which will eventually lead to you completely getting over this and living your life. Perhaps you need to move to an area where you will interact a lot more with people who understand you and will give you a shoulder to cry on. It shall be well. I know you can’t help being despondent but there is hope. Despite the sad feeling be assured that people who have gone through similar experiences like yours pulled through.

  3. Blackie

    Darling, I feel you are still grieving. And it is okay to grieve any way you want to grieve and for how long you want to grieve. It is perfectly okay and perfectly normal. So do not feel abnormal or uncomfortable about your grieving process. It is all about you, remember that.

    At the same time, you should bear the knowledge that you need to forgive these people and forgive yourself to move on. I know it sounds harsh, but you need to forgive. Forgiving these people does not mean you have to forget the lessons you have learned. Forgiving means you must let go of all the hate, bitterness, anger and negative feelings. You must not let these negative feelings and other people have power over you. You must not because it is up to you who and what has power over you.

    Forgive yourself. Forgive that some things happened to you and you were not able to stop them. Forgive yourself of the shame, the discomfort and all the negative emotions. Try to be positive.

    Also remember God, take all your worries to Him and let it go. God is always on the side of His children. Nurture yourself. Do new things, learn new things, meet new people. Reinvent yourself if you want. Be free.

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