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Ask Me (Almost) Anything

I’m taking questions because I’m too tired to write even though my list of drafts is longer than NASS’s list of cash allowances.
Ask me (almost) anything.
I’ll reply in the comments. ✌🏾



There are 26 comments

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    • sugabelly

      I’m okay. I’d like to think I’m getting better each day, but that’s not true. Some days are good and some days are bad.

      I’ve been very lonely, yes, but lately I’ve made some effort to reach out to new people and that’s helped somewhat.

      I’m still mostly shying away from everyone and everything, but I’m fervently hoping for sunny times ahead.

  1. Omali

    Can u give an update about thing going on in your life. Have you been able to find a job? Are you still work on the Ndebe project? Do ever plan to move back to Nigeria? Do you regret leaving Nigeria?

    • sugabelly

      I’ve found a job.

      I’m still working on the Ndebe Project but it has a different name now.

      I definitely plan to move back to Nigeria. Hopefully in the not too far off future.

      I don’t regret leaving Nigeria, but I miss it a lot sometimes. Home is always home.

    • sugabelly

      Nothing. And the worst part is, after months of healing and so much progress, the past week has been easily one of the most traumatic I’ve experienced in recent memory. 😞

  2. Jc

    I have not read your blog (or blogs in general) for years now (work, baby, life!)……..I just wanted to drop by and say I believe you. I also truly applaud you, I know 4 Nigerian women who went through a very similar experience to you. You are the lighthouse, standing as a beacon of truth for many faceless women without voices. Never veer the path you have taken, you have already changed lives and by this I mean, people who have survived rape will heal from your story, people who may think that they can rape without consequence will read about this story and you may save another girl in this way. Well done Sugabelly, don’t change yourself, heal yourself but the intrinsic person you are is perfect.

    Finally my question……what support system do you have?

    • sugabelly

      Thank you.

      I don’t really have much of a support system. I’ve been in a turbulent romantic relationship, but that’s traumatic too so I’m still emotionally and mentally in a state of limbo.

      Hopefully I’ll be able to go away next year and unpack everything and just focus on healing.

  3. Such a sweetheart

    Hey Suga,
    I hope you see my email there and reach me if you can.
    I am working on a film project (not about you) about something really neccessary to our society. To us.
    I would love you to get to me, I need your voice on this. I really do.
    Please don’t wish to gallop out of the world. Your strength is inspiring. We need your smile. We love your shine!

  4. Cynic

    You’ve bared your innermost fears and pains to the world via your blog and social media without masking your identity, which has amongst other things, increased awareness for the sugabelly brand.
    The cynical would call it self-exploitation. What would you say to such people?

  5. Rex

    Nothing to ask, just want to tell you that you are awesome (you probably hear that all the time). A big fan of your art and tweets (especially your tweets), from the UK.

  6. I care...

    Sweetheart, in as much as you may not know me that well. But I care more about you that you realize. I am so tired of seeing you in so much pain. In as much as, pain is a part of life but the one you are experiencing now has lost it’s purpose and therefore has to make way for inner joy and self love to blossom. All everybody sees is the girl who survived rape or whatever image they have of you based on what they read online, but they ‘are missing out so much . Trapped in that anxious, exhausted, forlorn you is a brave, strong woman. You are intelligent and super smart but you need to take your life back. It has been in their hands for too long. In the hands of the men who hurt you and the guerillas who raped you. They took your joy but don’t let them take your soul and your life. They are too low calibre for you to give them that kind of power. I know you cry every night and thoughts of suicide linger every now and then. I’ve been in your situation. It took just one heartbreak for me to ask myself if any man in this world was worth my self mortification. I examined my own stockholm syndrome of returning to my molester in the hope that he would change and asked myself why I was such a fool for love. I realized I needed to love and value myself and begin to vest my invaluable time and emotions to those who truly deserved it. “The Marilyn Syndrome” by Susan Isrealson and Elizabeth Macavoy Ph.d was a book that marked my first step to self realization. Pls, do kindly find that book and read it. If it helped changed my perspective, it can help change yours too. Today I am married to a man who loves me the way I’ve always wanted a man to love me but it took recovering from my love addiction and attachment hunger for me to recognize true love when it eventually came. Do set yourself free from the chains of your past and all the hrt associated with this men who don’t recognise your inestimabl worth. I love you and I want you to recover. Do kindly recover. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. Noone is above mistakes. Don’t crucify yourself for being human. Pamper your heart, guard it, have fun and be kind to yourself and your body. Can’t wait to see you smile again. And I mean truly smile because you healed from it all…

  7. Amina W.H

    Hi sugabelly, not to sound like an ass kisser but I honestly do admire your strength. Reading about you completely leaving home to start a life for your self and being independent is so inspiring. I want to be independent my self and start a life for my self but I’m finding this really difficult as I continue to slip into old habits. I’m 22 planning on getting a masters soon. So my question is, how do I find the courage to leave the luxury behind and be completely independent?

  8. Funmi

    Hello, can you please send the chronicles of the original assistant madam, (sugar baby) you saved ? Thanks a whole lot !


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