Death Might Be Annoying… But Not Much Else

Saturday started completely normally for me.

I got up, messed about, showered, put on my clothes, and headed out the door, and grabbed a bike from the Capital Bikeshare stand near my apartment to head for Union Station.

I had just turned the bend and had Columbus Circle in sight when black patches started appearing in front of me and my vision started to fade. Everything was spinning and it was getting harder and harder to hear so I slowed the bike trying to halt completely before I crashed to the ground and split open my head.

A woman walking past me saw me begin to fall and I whispered to her “Call 911.”

She said “Why?” and kept walking.

I kept thinking to myself “I’m going to kick this woman. I’m not going to die until I kick this stupid woman.” but my legs refused to obey me.

There was a man coming up the street behind me with his kid, maybe one or two years old at the very most.

I was half on and half off the bike at this point and couldn’t see, hear, or feel anything besides my heart pounding, nausea, and being so, so very cold.

It was the strangest thing.

I kept waiting for it to get better.

I kept thinking to myself that if I just stood still long enough, everything would be alright.

I kept waiting and it kept getting worse until I realised that it wasn’t going to get better. There was likely no coming back from this.

Everyone always imagines death attended by panic. The realisation that you’re going to die, the horror, the fear, the sheer panic.

All I could feel while dying, was annoyed.

I suppose mentally I was afraid, but I was simple incapable of feeling fear. It just wouldn’t come.

Upon realising that I was dying on the street outside Union Station, all I could think was:

This is inconvenient.

I’m going to miss Scandal.

I haven’t shipped out my portrait orders. They will think I scammed them!

Thank God I did laundry and loaded the dishwasher before I left the house. At least they won’t think I’m dirty.

Shit, I left my panties on the floor.

I need to call Mom.

How am I going to give Mom the keys to my flat?

I want to say hi to you.

Apparently, I collapsed on top of the man and his son and he called 911. All I remember was waking up inside the ambulance surrounded by EMTs. I guess they might have used something like an ems software system. I mean, the way they treated me prehospitally was so good that by the time I arrived at the hospital I was feeling pretty good.

After an EKG and a battery of tests, the doctor side-eyed me and announced I was malnourished and had almost caused my heart to fail.

He then directed the nurses to stuff me with food, and put me on some sort of vitamin drip.

Now that I think about it, it was scary as fuck.

If that man hadn’t been there, no one would have seen me go down.

So thank you fat man with the cute little boy.

Annoying woman, I would still like to kick you.

There are 30 comments

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    • sugabelly

      Thanks. I’m really glad that man was there too. The ambulance arrived really quickly as well. And the EMTs were so nice.

    • sugabelly

      Lol, it’s okay to selfishly want me not to die so you can read blog posts. That being said, I’ve written a lot of blog posts on this blog already so you can always read those.

  1. Gob Gob

    Didn’t something like this happen ages ago? I’m bringing up a post from years ago: something to do with your bowels. Be more careful. :/

    And yeah, kick that stupid woman.

      • Gob Gob

        I know that Americans like to get out of helping people in emergencies because people being helped by Good Samaritans have been known to sue for whatever dumb reason. You may have been dealing with that, too, even though you were specifically requesting help — she wasn’t even initiating anything. She makes me mad. Hell, if you had died, she probably would’ve been arrested for neglecting you, if the police had caught up with her. I’m not a law expert, and I’m starting to forget my First Aid training from years ago, but people aren’t left with much of an excuse for why they can’t call for help once they see someone in trouble, even if they themselves don’t have any First Aid training. That was just laziness and selfishness on her part.

        As far as food goes, well, I’ve never lived on my own, so I’m not going to sit here and give any (unsolicited) financial advice related to food. Also, I didn’t even know how to make tuna salad sandwiches until I bought a beginners’ cookbook, so…

        I don’t know what shopping for food in a city like NYC is like: I live in the Atlanta suburbs. If I need cheap, decent fruits and veggies, I have ALDI. Their prices are really cheap ($1 loaf of bread; $1 pineapples when they’re on sale…), but, of course, if they’re far away from you… :/ I was starting to have liver spots on my hands the other day because I wasn’t getting enough Vitamin B — luckily, I had an old bottle of vitamin B-complex supplements that I could take, and they went away within a couple of days.

        Hang in there. 🙂

    • sugabelly

      Nope! She sounded so irritated that I dared to ask her to call 911. She didn’t even pause for a moment, she just kept walking right past me as I fell.

      I used to be really scared of dying too. I used to have panic attacks over it and everything.
      Now I’m more bothered about the state of being dead or what comes after if anything.

  2. NSA

    How could you be malnourished? You look so healthy. Have you not been eating well? How are you holding up financially? Young lady take care of yourself. You have a lot to offer the world.

  3. Adura Ojo

    I thought it was a posthumous post oh. Like ah, see this yeye girl, she schedule blog to post after kicking it! Then I was relieved that wasn’t the case. Blame my dark sense of humour abeg. That woman is mean sha. Why are people so mean? Sometimes I just wonder what it’s all about…what’s the point about life with people like that still breathing?!!!

    Look after yourself, girl. there is no excuse.

  4. abokishop

    Look if u had left thus plane of existence for next with the excuse of being malnourished. …I swear I for die come meet u and kick ur as$ back the lane of the leaving….and then kick u some more for trying to dump us ur fans…and then go find that wicked lady and kick her too…

  5. Joie

    Wow. Maybe that woman is big on politeness and noticed you didnt say please. Abi? People -Life- can be so cold sometimes.

    More to the point and to echo NSA how are you financially especially in trying to avoid malnutrition going forward?

    • sugabelly

      Until things change for the better, malnutrition is going to be an ever present danger. I’m trying to do what I can though. Maybe that woman really liked manners. Lol.

  6. Cherrywine

    You should start a food kickstarter fund. I would contribute. YOU NEED TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF dear. Seriously. Imagine how starved your insides felt for them to shut down on you like that. Such a scary thought. That bastard satan’s handmaiden that basically left you to die!!!!!How cold hearted. Yes, she had a duty to act and she could be guilty of an act of omission if you had kicked the bucket and she just walked on by because she had a duty to act and that duty was to dial 911. That would serve her right, the heifer! Glad to know you are getting better. Consider the kickstarter idea please.

    • sugabelly

      Dunno why that woman couldn’t just call 911 and keep walking. I thought she was so wicked.

      I don’t think kickstarter allows people to raise funds for stuff like food, but I do have a PayPal, it’s

      Or maybe you could order a portrait from me? Or get a bunch of your friends to order portraits from me? That way I can feel like I’m giving you something in return.

      Portraits are here –

  7. yele

    Thank goodness u are still alive to tell the story.pls take care of urself ehn.try and eat balanced diet. At least for us ur fans,biko? Lool..oh and that woman, chai..I don’t even know what to say..either way her butt really needs to be kicked. For real..take care

  8. naijagyal

    I don’t know if you are still binging and purging or if it’s just lack of food but you should take this pretty seriously. If it’s finances constraining your nutrition then honestly look into food banks. They have TOO much food (seriously, some won’t accept donations because they have too much). I know it’s not something Nigerians necessarily think of, but you’re in America – might as well take advantage of some of the things it has to offer.

    If the bulimia is still playing a part, then I don’t know – it’s expensive to see counselors so that might not be a great option. I just know that all that throwing up leaches vitamins….so it could cause malnutrition.

    On a second note, if you can – get a second opinion. Yankee drs are quick to diagnose and then be like….oh actually it’s not A it’s B. For mal-nutrition to make you black out like that – it would have to be pretty pretty damn severe.

    Glad you are alright sha

  9. @ femolevsky

    Wow…a while black, I wondered why you were silent on twitter, tweeted at you and got no reply, thought about all kinds of weird B613 stuffs, had to remind myself ain’t nothing like that.

    Glad you’re fine.

    Malnutrition? Wow…especially when you had to ride a bike, I can see why you blanked out. you need better care, hope you get something concrete soon, at least enough to buy gourmet dishes once in a while.

    Have fun! Take care.

  10. Finemocha

    lol, that Dr side eyed you because you water his time. It is more common than people think, but on a serious note you have to take better care of yourself. Stop thinking of the now and focus on the future, your health will become a great asset if it is intact.

  11. jiblow

    Hi Sugabelly, discovered your blog through the Mustapha thingy. I have read some of your posts here. I think you are dark…and trust me, I don’t mean this in a bad way. Check out “Not alone” by Patty Griffin online. I think you, and any other dark-minded people out there will enjoy the song as much as I did.

    @ Story..pls eat healthy…you can still do that on a budget.

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