Sinking in Dark, Looking for a Way Out
I was going to do a post about some of this but I’ve been putting it off and putting it off.
I got fired on June 7, and I’ve been unemployed since then. Despite friends telling me to have a look for other jobs, I haven’t. They always tell me that there are hundreds of jobs out there and with a strong resume, I could get one. One of my friends even showed me some resume templates to try and give me some inspiration to create my own. It’s probably about time that I took this advice on board and started thinking about getting a new job.
For a while, I suppose I just didn’t want to talk about it because I felt sad and ashamed and disappointed in myself, but it wasn’t a surprise at all because I’ve been severely depressed for a while and it was seriously impacting my work performance so hey. Depression has been really hard and one of my friends who’s going through it suggested that I try some space monkey strain to help make me feel better. She smokes weed a lot and she’s always telling me how much it makes her feel better. I haven’t tried it yet but if my low mood continues, it’s something I’ll definitely consider. It’s been good to have someone to talk to about it since she understands what I’m going through too. I haven’t really spoken about losing my job to anyone else for a number of reasons. One of them being the fact that I was due to travel a few days after so I just tried to blank it out and went on holiday and I tried not to think about it and keep unhappiness at bay for as long as I could.
That being said, I’m in the place that I don’t want to be in. I’ve been trying to manage what little money I’ve got since but I think I’m down to my last few thousand.
And as if I didn’t have enough problems, my aunt just kicked me out. (Another thing that didn’t come as a surprise either considering she’s been muttering for months that my irresponsible mother dumped me on her to be a burden in her life and every time I breathe too deeply she makes me feel as if I’m reducing her ration of air.)
I can’t even cry at this point because I feel like if I do I’m going to fall apart so I have to stay calm.
I’ve got a few days to move out and nowhere to go.
In other words, I’m unemployed AND homeless.
Damn life…. you scary.