I Don’t Have the Strength … To Be a Nigerian

I woke up before 8am today for maybe the second time since I’ve been back.

I’m not used to such early mornings.

In college I scheduled all my classes to begin at 11am at the very earliest.

I am not a morning person. When I was a kid I was. I used to love waking up early and wandering through the house while it was still peacefully quiet, but not anymore. I sleep like a log and wake up bleary eyed and confused. It takes me a few minutes to reorient myself and snap out of it. Like Yasuhito would say, “Fuck, I’m getting old.”

The first thing I noticed when I got back is that Nigerians are early risers.

I mean, I’ve always known this …. technically, but before I went away to college, I never really noticed it because I was one of them. In Loyola, I’d wake up at 5am like clockwork, long before the rising bell at 6, so it never really dawned on me the gravity of the situation until now.


Seriously, what possible reason could we have for decent people to have their lights on at 4am and be ironing and boiling water or whatever the hell they’re doing that’s not sleeping?

At the very earliest, I don’t think anybody needs to be doing anything before 9am, but not in Nigeria!!

In Nigeria, the banks are full at the CRACK of dawn! Offices are full at the CRACK of dawn, everybody has been awake for ages at the CRACK of dawn! It makes me want to scream!!!!!

Then as if waking up early isn’t enough of a problem, there’s the underexplored issue of the kind of energy committment that goes into performing femininity in this country.

Note, I said performing femininity not being female because while the two are often confused, they are not the same one does not necessarily need to be present for the other to exist.

Let’s not play games. Women in Nigeria have a lot of energy. I unfortunately am not one of them.

The performance of femininity in Nigeria is a complex formula of ridiculous “beauty” paraphernalia – Brazilian Weave, Bleaching Cream Egyptian Milk, Biweekly spa and salon appointments, Alarming gym routines, “Designer” clothes, statement bags and shoes – and advanced angling – learning the fine art of hooking a Lagos/Abuja Big Boy or three to bankroll your needlessly expensive lifestyle.

I’m a little in awe of these women and how they juggle the time for all this with social events, dating worthless rich men and managing their pseudo careers, but honestly, I don’t know if I can be like them.

I mean, do I want to be pretty and be able to wear whatever clothes I want and look amazing? Hell yeah!

Is it fun to be a glamourous social butterfly and flit from one party or event to the other and have your picture taken and be in all the magazines and have all the guys come after you and buy you nice things? Of course.

But I had a long thought about it and I just don’t have the energy. I mean yeah I need to lose weight and if nothing else, I’d like to be back to my old size and be healthy and not have random horrible health scares, but beyond that, I think it requires an incredible amount of commitment and dedication not to mention a strong stomach for disgusting stuff to claw your way to the top of Nigeria’s social ladder like a lot of women I’ve seen in Nigeria are trying desperately to do.

It reminds me of the other day I was talking to a friend of my Mom’s. (Full disclosure: This friend has always been a rather sketchy person, so I am totally used to the sketchiness of his utterances )

I mentioned to him that I needed one million Naira to buy some equipment to launch/operate my comics label Jigida Comics properly, and he said to me “Getting one million Naira in this city is really, really easy. I have a couple of friends who would happily give it to you …. but you’ll have to hang from the ceiling.”

It wasn’t lost on me at all that he was implying that I’d have to have sex with his friend(s) to get the one million Naira. I politely declined and then went to Salamander to cry into my peppersoup.

I don’t judge girls that would have taken the offer. And if you’re desperate enough, you actually might. Hell, if I was in an utterly desperate situation and the circumstances were dire enough, I actually might. Thankfully, I can live without the money and I can still draw on paper but the process of making the comics takes many hours longer than it would have if I could buy the equipment I needed. But I don’t have the energy for runs and I get queasy really easily so I can’t just close my eyes and pretend I’m far away while some yucky man that I have no feelings for sticks it in me.

I mean, I might have sex for money if my child was dying and there was absolutely no other way to get the money to save her.

But that’s about it.

Although….. now that I think about it. Practically everyone in Nigeria is having sex for money. Whether they’re doing it so people can watch them online or for any other reason, it is a pretty widespread occurrence. I don’t know much about other countries, but I do know that there are escorts who you can pay for most things in a lot of other countries. In Switzerland, for example, there are bern escorts listed on the Escort Directory and there are other European cities on there too. From what I’ve seen of relationships in America from different ethnicities, while there’s an expectation of exchanging gifts and other such things, it is nowhere near as advanced and expensive as it is in Nigeria.

People in Nigeria demand so much stuff in relationships and it’s not roses and chocolates neither.

Houses, cars, yachts, flats, designer bags, designer shoes, gold plated phones, trips abroad, property abroad, plastic surgery by SkinMD Laser and Cosmetic Group who are the best, land, etc and the list goes on and on.

Most Americans wouldn’t dare to ask their significant other for the kinds of things that Nigerians ask for on a daily basis without shame.

So if you boil it down, Nigerians are having sex for money in a roundabout way because they’re not entering relationships on the basis of love or even mutual attraction alone. I think arguably, I can say with reasonable confidence that on average Nigerians have comparably greater expectations of financial gain as an outcome of entering a relationship than other people in the world (or at least those that I have encountered and whose relationships I have been able to casually observe).

So what does this mean for me?

I’m not sure yet. What I am sure of is that I don’t have the strength to do runs.

If I find a rich boyfriend, yay for me!!!

If I don’t, my minimum requirement is that he not be significantly poorer than me, and that he be at least as educated and as exposed as I am.

Beyond that, I don’t know if I have the strength to fight for all the stuff women in Lagos and Abuja are doing battle for.

I should have been born in Ghana or Cameroon or something.

I don’t have the strength to be a Nigerian.

There are 75 comments

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  1. TecknicoleurGrl

    “People in Nigeria demand so much stuff in relationships and it’s not roses and chocolates neither.

    Houses, cars, yachts, flats, designer bags, designer shoes, gold plated phones, trips abroad, property abroad, plastic surgery, land, etc and the list goes on and on.

    Most Americans wouldn’t dare to ask their significant other for the kinds of things that Nigerians ask for on a daily basis without shame.”

    I do not understand this either. Like, sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me because I wear my own hair and buy my own credit and would rather ask my parents and not some random man (or even my boyfriend) for things I can’t afford. This Nigeria is a strange place.

    Hope you’re enjoying your holiday anyway, apart from the waking up at unholy hours.

  2. eccentricyoruba

    This post is so true. It does take a lot of energy expressing femininity in Nigeria and I’m glad I never bothered with it even though it was slowly growing on me. Like at a point wasn’t I going to gym, having monthly facials…I could never bother with Brazilian weave or “Egyptian milk” and I opted for Hausa spa over Moroccan spa but for reals.

    Nigeria is a strange place. I’m not sure I know how to navigate the country but I’ve learnt to do things that please me for a healthy life.

    • sugabelly

      I don’t know how to navigate this country either. Those women are glamourous and that has its appeal, but just thinking about what I would have to do to be like them saps me of energy. In fact I need a nap now.

  3. Toinlicious

    Lol @ Performing femininity. You know, i’ve not totally gotten over girls applying make-up for early morning camp jogging during my NYSC. It used to amaze the heck out of me how girls would help each other hold flash light to their face, while they applied make-up. It used to kill me, i mean girls, c’mon!

    The closest i am to juggling social events is the occasional wedding and Linda Ikeji’s blog (yea, i’m a slacker)

    As for demanding stuff, i think i was wired differently too. If i get a rich bf, yay for me too but i’m just usually suspicious of receiving stuff sef.

    And waking up @4am totally kills me. That’s one of the reasons i’m not sure i can survive in Lagos. It’s just way too abnormal for me.

  4. NakedSha

    As in…

    I am baffled at many pseudo-careers that begin and maintain pseudo-ship on the red-carpet. I would love to know what many do and how they make what they make. But then, for some, I know.

    And in Nigeria, marriage is still largely an insurance of some sort. Especially for people trying to climb up the red-carpet ladder.

    GBAM at performing femininity and being female being mutually exclusive.

    And being Nigerian requires time. I pray for it.

    As in.

    • sugabelly

      I really think you’ve hit the nail on the head here with your idea about marriage and relationships being some sort of insurance. Although, now that women are even more educated and have more opportunities than ever, why are we still demanding so much from relationships?

    • Anonymous

      I am from the Caribbean and my best friend is Nigerian and she is struggling with the love thing. Her parents want her to marry a guy who comes from wealth, going to be a doctor, you know all the things that come in handy for bragging, but she is secretly in a relationship with a childhood friend that loves her for her. The guy her parents want her to marry constantly berates her about her weight and body, and I cannot stand to watch her go through this spiral of pleasing him or accepting herslef. Sometimes she says she wants love and other times she sounds as if she has internalize the materialistic approach to relationships. I, myself, is a product of poverty and the guy I’m with is as well, but we’ve been together for 4 yrs…worked hard to get to America so I can attend college and so that he can pick up a trade. I say all this to say: the basis of a relationship should not be on material things because we can spend an entire lifetime wearing ourselves down to get them and it can all be taken away in a minute. Are you going to leave your significant other? The beauty of a relationship is recognizing the potential of the individual and believing in what you guys can accomplish together. You’ll find there is more comradry in the relationship because both individuals have personally witnessed the progress of each other and respects them. Love foremost should be built on love not bank statements. Live to please yourself and Jah, otherwise you’ll be an empty vessel looking for water from evryone that passes by! Jah Bless! One Love!

  5. Lara

    This post got me reeling wit laughter but the level of living in Nigeria is on another level. Ladies are demanding orishi rishi from the men and all in the name of bigz girls.

  6. M

    I hate waking up early for any reason at all… Exam, Interview, school, work … anything, I always try to arrange my day so that Life starts after 12. But I am moving to Nigeria in a few months and I am trying to get myself used to all the waking up early.

    As for the Performing Femininity, I just can’t I nearly peed myself laughing when I read the post, but its true thats what girls do. My Mum and I fight everyday when I am in Nigeria because I love being natural (no makeup) and walking around my house with bathroom slippers and she wants me withe the war paint on at all times. lol

    And lastly in regards to the whole relationship thing … *sigh* thats just the way it is.. See the thing is most girls that do it come from poor families or average families and the relationship is basically their hustle, thats how they eat, thats how the pay their rent etc. It not something that I think can change mainly because of the way Nigeria is.

    • the.me.i.be

      I always wondered how the women in Lagos walk around outside looking so fly (pardon the ancient vernacular) in heels, weave, makeup, nicely dressed & I was always just a hottttt MESS in my air conditioned car. I used to think “I guess u have to be from here”. It is a commitment to the feminine performance (love the phrase) that I’m afraid I lack.

    • Mamuje

      One of your best posts ever. My office is around Salamander. We can cry into peppersoup as much as you like. That’s Nigeria for you. Its all about Brazillian Weave, BB Porsches and driving expensive cars with no careers for some women. You are smart and driven and be successful. No need to worry your pretty head xox

  7. Myne Whitman

    So so true! A lot of Nigerians especially those in the so called middle class are so materialistic. I am hoping though, that with time and the creation of more jobs as the economy opens up, this class has to find their own values.

    • Adura Ojo

      I wonder if it’s a class thing, Myne. Maybe it’s just a Nigerian thing? The materialistic mentality seems to exist in its various forms irrespective of what class those particular individuals belong to. Perhaps it’s just a ‘Nigerian values’ societal malaise thing?

    • Myne Whitman

      I think from some people I know in the lower classes, they are more focused on hard work and what they can DO – skills and such and are usually more content. Our middle class with all our education are yet to know the difference between aspiration, ambition and plain greed.

    • Curious Kinks

      I started going to a Redeemed church here in Toronto after 10 years of going to a multicultural with blacks (Nigerians) being a minority. And I must say being materialistic is a Nigerian thing, not a class thing. I mean if women in Canada can be dressing as if they’re going to a club or a fashion show to a Church, then it’s certainly not a class/poverty thing. Sometimes I feel intimidated by how these women are dressed that I’ve considered leaving the church!

  8. Anonymous

    FYI Ghanaians are worse, not only are dey performing feminity with excess make up n 10times more hair than d kardashians, they expose more flesh than a london serial clubber … anyway i love seeing dressed up n glamorous ladies but since i left Nigeia, i seem to lack d energy to keep up – today i’m extremely hot tomorrow i’m a mess (pending on how airly i get up lol… i usually get up at 7am to get to work at 8 – this tells u how much energy i lack) – looking glamorous in my case is just toi make myself happy not cos i need to hustle a man
    Well as for runs I got to know dis gal online n it took me forever to realise she was hustling me just because its cool for her to say to people “My friend is a London Lawyer n is dating that musician” anyway i figured she just wanted to break into naija entertainment industry thru my bf.
    I knew naija gals were expert at hustling i just didn’t know they hustle der fellow females

  9. Taynement

    I yam weak. I have always said that if I move back. I would dull on lowest level of dulling. It’s amazing. When I was working there, someone was always at the office selling clothes or hair or jewelry or something and you would see these girls who don’t have cars buying, buying, buying. The pressure over there on all fronts is plenty biko.

  10. Ginger

    You nailed this post perfectly sugabelly. I’m laughing. My dear, sometimes I miss the performing femininity. I miss it sometimes shaa – the make up and dressing up. They performance didnt begin when they became ‘career women’ though. naa, they started as undergrads in the University.

  11. NairaKbps

    Welcome to Ni Je Ria. I could take a whole day to analyze all youve said, but let me start with this:
    1) “The performance of femininity in Nigeria is a complex formula of ridiculous “beauty” paraphernalia – Brazilian Weave, Bleaching Cream Egyptian Milk, Biweekly spa and salon appointments, Alarming gym routines, “Designer” clothes, statement bags and shoes – and advanced angling – learning the fine art of hooking a Lagos/Abuja Big Boy or three to bankroll your needlessly expensive lifestyle.”

    Comment: I think the problem is Nigerian, not sex-based. Wile the performance of feminity in Nigeria is a problem of the female sex, there is also the problem of the male sex: performance of manliness. The idea is that once you graduate “you get a job”, nobody wants to really know the kind of job you are doing / how much you are earning, there are some expectations from those around you: neighbors, family, friends, even strangers on your street. After like 2-years, they begin to ask you about your car, your house, this or that – meanwhile, they have no idea you are just managing. Should you care to tell somebody where the shoe is hurting, they dont believe you. And when you finally go mobile, they expect that your feet would never touch the ground anymore, even when there is fuel scarcity. And should you fail to live up to expectation, you are on your own. So at the end of the day, everyone just tries to live up to everyone’s xpectations in the hope that the ball will continue rolling.

    2) Please dont make any effort to loose weight. You will loose it naturally. By the time the Lagos sun beats you to and fro; by the time you enter okada from Island to mainland, by the time the public buses give your body a work out on wooden seats, you wont know where the chubbiness went.

  12. Omo Oba

    gbam! she said it all! On above comment: Nobody has to make you do what you do not want to do! It is quite paradoxical that there is an extreme poverty of morality in a city purported to be one of the most religious in the world re: Lagos. Sigh….there is so much we can do with our minds if we were not so darn religious or greedy!!!

  13. Anonymous

    My dear u made sense at first but after reading….i cn say u r jst a big fool.U knw u can always throw ur Nigerian passport away n seek Sudanese Citizenship.Better still u cn jst jump down from third mainland bridge.U v no identity n i doubt any Country will b willing to accept u.Mumu chic

    • sugabelly

      People like you are always anonymous.

      If you don’t like what I say on my blog, kindly make use of the muscles in your eyelids and close your eyes. Or better yet don’t read my blog.

      I write my blog for me. I don’t write it for you, so if you don’t like it, fall the fuck back.

    • Formerly stealth reader

      Yh to d anon above….I will take a leaf from your book of stupid people who’d rather go off on people than properly verbalize and put their thoughts together whether it be an opposing thought or acquiescent one ( instead of going off on people like a neanderthal woooo! Mouthfull lol) …….and say…… shutup dumbfuck!

  14. Seun

    reminds me of my ex. am richer than her mum + dad + herself
    yet every single day of our 9 month relationship, she reminds me of everything am yet to have.

    a girl comes on a date, she expects transport fare, back to her house.
    you better double the actual amount so she picks your call when next you call.

    To be honest, not all though, but thats always what i watch out for, helps me get hungry girl of my phonebook.

  15. Ada

    When I went home for christmas. my mum will beeef me. serious beef. infact, one blessed sunday the outfit I deemed fit to wear to church became a source of contention in the house. how could I wear “that” *insert face of disgust* to church? and how I dress like an impoverished suffering fool. and how I dont look like someone that landed from obodo oyibo. I heard it all that day. and then because i refused to change, my father felt insulted…..serious beef I tell you

    after reading this post, it occured to me that the mentality is different. materialism has permeated every strata.smh. I have been away so long so we cant see things the same way. I cant be arsed though. I will wear my village hair and homeless clothes with not even a smidgen of apology

    • Anonymous

      That does not mean you can’t go to church to worship God.
      You can rise above the oppression you refer to and worship the God you seek to relate to.

    • Curious Kinks

      haha, i should have read this comment before commenting above. At times it’s hard to ignore the fake hair, weave, smile and everything the woman in front of you or next to you is wearing. I think it’s complete rubbish

  16. Gracy Mounah

    Lol, I am a Liberian & it’s kind of funny how I was criticizing Liberian Men & Women but based on different things though. I think us Africans have something (ridiculous) about us somehow; & about Ghana, I grew up there & I must say that they’re the most peaceful country in Africa (in my opinion)!. P.S. I LOVE ur blog & believe it or not, you’re absolutely BEAUTIFUL & this is not a compliment to make you feel good, it’s the truth. Keep writing more often cause I like reading what you write. Happy Easter & stay bless!

  17. Anonymous

    Lol. You are so right with this though. I wonder when young women in Nigeria will learn to love and wear themselves proudly (hair, skin …etc).

    I guess those of us who can’t be arsed will just stay here and be real :-).

    Also. Koboko for the last anon that went on about jumping off 3rd Mainland. People who are so ready to big up dem chest with no real content stay posting as anonymous.

  18. IvyNimo

    I’m Kenyan and i feel the same way, i barely have energy to wake up in the morning find a decent outfit to go to work, let alone wear make-up and God forbid high heels…..

  19. Fabulously Quirky

    Lol @ wishing you were born in Ghana or Cameroun! Trust me, Ghanaian girls are on the same kind of ‘hustle’, just probably on a lower scale and that might only be because it’s a smaller country; but even then it’s just getting worse everyday! Hopefully it’s not a general W/African issue. Keep your head up and I hope your business works out for you.

  20. Ms zee

    I think you should focus on painting for now, it seems that is where your heart is, there are a lot of Art houses in Nigeria where you can showcase your work. I mean you wont make a “jabillion” Naira but it should put some extra income in your pocket. Network with people, you would be surprised how many people want paintings in their homes offices etc. You can do this sugar you sure can. Take out your anger and frustration on Canvass you have the talent put it to good use :).

  21. Anonymous

    mind your business. stop generalising thatthings are not working out for u doesnt mean it the same for others. I know a lot of Nigerian girls that work for there money,are in serious relationship with men they love and dont sleep around.I take my time to dress upcause i love looking good and neat always and not to attract a “maga”.And for all u natural hair girls, there is nothing wrong with fixing weaves. we dont criticise your naturl hair so pls dont force ur opinion on us.Sugarbelly Stop this self pity it will get u nowhere.work hard and earn money. concentrate more on your job and less on other peoples life. If u ask me i think u have a mental problem and needs serious help before its too late.

  22. Anonymous

    That is so rude anonymous, you may not agree with her opinion but many of us do, you have no right to insult her though, we love her.

  23. Maggie Dodson

    Sugabelly, I have a suggestion.


    Both of these amazing sites make it possible for a person with a fantastic idea to seek financial help from those who also believe in the idea. Many contributions make up the total.

    On both sites you must submit the idea for your project first.

    If they deem it suitable for inclusion on the site you then write a piece for publication about your project, the amount of money you are seeking and what exactly you want the money for, plus you list the benefits people will receive in return for supporting your project financially. eg. a print / framed or unframed of one lovely frame of the comic, maybe. The benefits are commensurate with the amount of money contributed.

    I love your idea for the comic and I love the drawings too, they’re fabulous. I reckon you stand an excellent chance of being successful.

    I have already supported campaigns on Kickstarter and I would definitely support yours for the above reasons, in addition to helping you remain completely independent.

    I hope this helps.

    I would love to hear what you think of the idea and of the sites themselves.

    Email me if you wish.

    • sugabelly

      I’m familiar with Kickstarter and Indiegogo. I’ve actually backed some projects on Kickstarter already. I did think about it but I’m waiting until I’ve got a larger body of work to show because successful projects on Kickstarter seem to be quite organised.

      As for the one million naira, the story has a happy ending – my Grandma gave it to me!! So I was able to buy the drawing equipment after all! I just haven’t written a post about it yet.

  24. Curious Kinks

    I don’t know how you guys who go to live abroad can adjust back into Nigeria. The whole femininity thing reminds me of a YT vid i saw recently about how many BF a Nigerian girl can have. I had to close the video 3min into it because I just couldn’t bare it. I guess all those nollywood movies we watch are indeed true. The whole sleeping around think I hear makes it difficult for men to get jobs! I will definitely make all applicants complete some sort of academic test if I were a Nigerian Employer, to verify their credentials. Men or Women! As for rising up early, you only had such convenience because you were a student. Working adults in I believe every country have to wake up early. Unless they work night shifts. This is definitely an awesome website. Please keep posting and I look forward to your comic book

  25. jennifer

    you come across as someone who hates being nigeria. i’ve read all your post concerning nigeria.from nysc to this and i think you have a point but you make it seem like nigeria is the worst place in the world with the worst values,and it is not. in brazil, women are more interested in looking perfect so they have tons of surgery to get a man, they like to look good and sexy, some even go out half naked. in russia, there’s a culture of prostitution that makes men not value the women there, just like in brazil. in america, there’s a drug culture and the quest for perfection. nigeria is not only relegated to abuja and lagos, in different parts there are differt attitudes to life and living. nigerian attitudes today are mostly borrowed attitudes that didn’t exist when our parents were growing, and these attitudes were copied from other countries. lagos is like LA,with the fakeness and all. up till 2004, nigerians were considered happy people, and the whole runs business was not that big. i think you should stay wherever you are and stop writing about nigeria since you have such a negative view of everything nigerian, and i’m not blaming you for it because it’s tough for me too, especially now that i’ve been back after schooling abroad for years (i’m 23). i also believe nigerians are some of the greediest, mean, and rudest people i have ever encountered, and sometimes most don’t behave like human beings at all, but i don’t rant about it everytime because i overlook those things and move on with my life, and i try to change what i can change. customer service in nigeria is like hell, which almost leaves you crying and you feel belittled after the way you’re treated, meanwhile you’re paying for that service and you’re treated like shit. i have had some nasty experiences since returning. please since you hate or detest nigeria so much, stop writing about the country like this, and enjoy the life you’re living abroad (which is much easier). i am not blaming you but from your posts (excluding those about nigeria), you seem like a negative person, and you have to look on the bright side of life, especially since you’re quite young.

    • sugabelly

      You come to my blog and post this incoherent rant in the name of a comment, but I’m the negative person?

      You don’t get to tell me what I should write about and not write about. I write about Nigeria because I am Nigerian and I feel like writing about it.

      You on the other hand, have choices to make about what you read. If you don’t like what I write about, you don’t have to read my blog, much less come here and post your homemade psychoanalysis about what kind of person you think you’ve deduced I am based on a couple of posts you’ve read on my blog.

      Very charming o 23 year old who has spent years studying abroad, especially since you don’t know me in real life.


      24 year old who has also spent years studying abroad and realises it’s nothing special.

  26. DMAMA

    I know this post is like so old….but I would comment anyway. Firstly, I love love your post(s) btw…found you after Linda Ikeji posted your thoughts on the body count thing. You are very vocal about your feelings and I think its ok…some people can be stunned at how controversial some people can be….instead of letting them do them, they criticise. More grease to your elbow…I will definitely be back…

  27. tega

    But sugabelly I thought you did not mind having sex in exchange for lots and shit loads of money?? U said this in one of your blogs, or is this a recent paradigm shift/

    • sugabelly

      I don’t mind it at all. I also don’t think women are commodities or that people should be pressured into or out of sex. I’m celibate, and i’ve been so for almost three years, but if i met a rich man that i liked, we weren’t planning on having a relationship, but he wanted to have sex with me, and give me money and gifts and things in exchange, why not?

    • sugabelly

      What I mean here, is having sex for money somewhat against my will. If it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement and we are mutually attracted to each other, yeah sure. But i wouldn’t have sex with random men i would not normally have sex with for money.

  28. Meh

    I don’t understand why I Had not discovered you until recently!!!!! Added you on twitter and I am so grateful! In 2012 I was having the same issues when I moved back to Nigeria but like you I told myself and my mother that she would need to chill. That I loved her and that all this peperempe would only occur I I felt like it. I have been insulted countless times about my natural hair and taken it in grace because I don’t give two figs. If the spirit leads I wear a weave. But I can only and will only live within my means. As to relationships… I won’t lie I am clueless in Nigeria because I don’t really know/ understand how people meet normal people if they aren’t introduced and I don’t need any man’s money. Ah well, let me pursue my actual career. Please keep writing and keep preaching the gospel of contraception. I hope that every silly anon that reads learns something

  29. Taitai

    Yes, we are a strange breed. I don’t know how or when we deviated from the norm. I suspect a bit of religion and maybe the economy (still an excuse).
    I met a Ghanian guy once and he didn’t seem to understand Nigerian babes either. He says a Ghanian babe would be nice to you even if you were a stranger and won’t judge you on the surface. However, the Nigerian girl seemed to have judged your status and would be as rude as hell for no reason if she suspects you don’t have a deep pocket. I live in Nigeria and I have still not gotten it. Like they say, there are still good and nice people out there. Maybe it’s time to move to Ghana. Lol.

  30. Finemocha

    the only issue i had with the article is eating pepper soup at salamander. that in it self answers your question, as to why some of these girls do what they do.

  31. Sterling Archer

    I really love you Sugabelly. Loved you when you were a troublesome babe on Twitter, long before the rape saga made people realize you’re a hurting babe. I think you’re really pretty. I think you’re a ‘mad cruise’. I log in to Twitter sometimes and just scroll and scroll and scroll through your timeline and laugh at your responses at the nay sayers. Your boldness is out of this world. You’re like our Nigerian Kanye.

    Since the rape story came about, I’ve read 60% of all your blogposts since 2007 and wow, I think you’re multitalented, sometimes crazy, vocal and I look forward to what you’ll be in 10- 15 years. Look at how well you wrote as a 17 year old. You’re super smart.

    I think you’ve found some closure from the Audu case up until the dad died.. I hope you find some final closure now so you can go on to live your beautiful life.

    You have a whole life ahead of you, with endless possibilities.. I mean, you write amazingly (this post is a particularly down-to-earth well written article. One of the best I’ve written. I absolutely love it), you draw, you comic, you design, you are business savvy, you’ve been knocked down and gotten up. You have all the ingredients to be one of the top women in Nigeria in the near future. You’re a media explosive waiting to happen.

    I’m rooting for you Lottana. I really have a crush on you. Real heterosexual crush.

    You’re an pretty babe.

    Please, make the best lemonade from this crazy but interesting life you’ve been given. Don’t let ME down, don’t let all the people rooting for you down, don’t let yourself down. Don’t let life itself down.

    I love you Sugarbelly.

    Send me an email. XX

  32. Sterling Archer

    Ignore the grammatical errors here and there… I was exciting posting my first comment on your blog. Reply it please.. and send me an email.

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