Things I wish …

I wish I had somewhere to go.

I have nowhere to go and so I have to stay here.

I wish I could just walk and walk and walk and keep on walking forever

But the pain in my feet, knees and heart means I don’t get too far.

I got home and it wasn’t there. Nowhere to live. But it stopped being home a long time ago.

I wished I had somewhere to go then too.

I think for the longest time, my safe place was my dorm room. It was just me, and I could close my door, and be alone with my thoughts. At least, for a time, it was mine.

Now I feel as if I have nothing that is my own. I’m just drifting, just floating from place to place with nowhere really to go.

Too poor to get my own place; my own space, no matter how small, really mine.

I hope one day (soon) I’ll have a place to truly call my own.

Another sad start to the new year.

Hello 2012… please bring me happiness, love, and peace.




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  1. Anonymous

    why are you always sad? Just a question from a concerned girl. You should make the most of your life and stop being sad, Be thankful to the giver of life.Some people would kill to have what you have. For one you seem intelligent, you are a graduate, you seem confident, you are beautiful, long hair etc most of these things i don’t have.

    • sugabelly

      Because I have clinical depression. That’s what depression does to you. You feel sad even when you have lots to be happy about. I used to go to therapy and it really helped me but lately I haven’t been able to find a good therapist and I don’t want to take mind altering medication so a lot of things get me down but I’m trying to keep upbeat and look on the brighter side of things.


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