Starting Over

It is what it is. I sabotaged another potentially good relationship and lost my friend in the process. You can only cry so much which is what I’ve been doing. I cry until I’m exhausted and then I pass out and wake up with no idea where I am or what happened until it all filters back in. I’m terribly sad but at the same time I don’t feel too bad because I’ve been through this before and I know what to expect. I might be crying myself to sleep right now but I also know that one morning I will wake up and my pillow will be dry, and there’ll be nothing but a dull ache in my heart and each morning the ache will grow less and less until one day I’ll open my eyes and the pain will be gone.

I might as well just let it run its course since I can’t stop myself from feeling sad and I can’t help the stabbing pain that comes when I see him walk across the room. It’s okay and I’ll be okay.

In the mean time, I have to get on with my life, love or no love.

Yesterday I was supposed to work from 12pm to 7pm. I made it to work in time, but I did a little self portrait to show you how close I cut it.  This was me at eleven thirty.

Inking the pencil work
About to erase the pencil lines

I really need to change my nailpolish

Pencil lines erased. All done!!
Yes… I sleep naked.
I’ll colour this later on.

Oh, and I promise if you’ve sent me mail or a message or any kind of contact, you’ll get a reply by the end of this weekend. Sunday night at the very latest.

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  1. lahlah

    shet did the Antichrist just say “get closer to Jesus”?.ok. to be honest i think that ending this relationship was good for you, looking back on your last posts, the relationship never really appeared healthy it was leaning towards being a bit bipolar-ish. You probably need the alone time to do some reflecting, hope you feel better though, I love this your self portrait men.

  2. El-Divine

    hey i really like ur art, its awesome!
    sorry the relationship didnt work, but good things dont always come in a nice package, so this might be a good thing.

  3. sugabelly

    @leggy: He said it himself. Because I love him and he doesn’t love me. And because him making love to me makes my feelings for him deeper and if he falls in love with someone else it will be hell to pay for both of us.

    So we need to stop and be away from each other until everything heals.

  4. Nutty J.

    @Azazel: Did you mention ‘Jesus’ and ‘get closer’ in the same line? wonder wud never cease.

    Sugarbelly: How long will you continue to go in and out of a rship crying…you go in crying u come out crying. When will you come out laughing? just curious.

    Take am easy u hear? There is more to life

  5. Tai -Osagbemi Boma

    my dear, take it easy.
    em.. not to sound like the perve of the group but…hmm sleep naked i see! we’ll be waiting for the drawing of you sleeping when its too hot to use a blanket !(yes i knw i’m silly)

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