I think I’ve Run Out of Titles

Whether or not you think the last post is about someone you know, please do not lose track of the point:

I did not write the last post to point the finger at anyone, hence I mentioned noone. I wrote the last post to discuss my options.

I am sure many of you have had dilemmas involving people that you did not want to mention and have written posts either not mentioning their names or assigning them fake names. Just as such posts are not about the people involved but more about your problem with the issue and how best to deal with it, so too is mine.

If  discussing a problem without drawing in the parties involved is “accusing someone” of doing something, then more than half of Blogville is equally guilty of accusing unnamed persons in the thousands of posts that we have all put up asking for advice on personal dilemmas.

What I need you to understand is that since I did not mention the person I was talking about, then whether or not you feel it is someone you know, please do not say that I am trying to accuse ABC. After all, there are many bloggers that I know personally who have at some time or the other written posts about something that is going on in their personal lives. Does it mean that just because I know what is going on, or because I think I have an idea of the person they are talking about that they have accused that person?

This is the point. I need to figure out what to do with this situation and I cannot do that without discussing the background of the situation. That is paramount. Just because it happens to involve someone you might know doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be discussing that person.

I said in the last post:

I will not name any names, so please don’t ask me to because I have promised not to talk about this and I have done my best in this post not to go into any specific detail about anything.

My question is this: Should I continue with the project or not? I want to desperately but I also am deeply repulsed by the idea of people possibly saying that I copied from this person just because they came out with it first when they actually copied from me.




There are 30 comments

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  1. L-VII

    Mad people have already told you do it. Do it! It was a good idea, it remains a good idea. May I just ask, why are you so bothered about what people think?

  2. leggy

    i really think its about time you dropped this and do what you want to do.no idea is original.i think its about time you realised that and stop playing the victim.

  3. Afronuts

    One thing you should know is that no idea sticks to one person alone forever.

    I have an idea who you’re referring to but from my experience working in an industry that has to do with ideas, I’ve come to undersstand that if u don’t act quickly on your ideas, someone else will suddenly come up with it (without even seeing yours!) Ideas are a mystery, they go round and settle in people’s minds.

    But it should never stop you doing what you feel like doing. All you have to do is look at what the person has done and think of ways to make yours different.
    Yet I don’t think your idea is exactly the same as the person you claim to have ‘stolen’ them. Look closely, there are differences.

    And believe it or not, your idea was never stolen. You are a creative mind, the other person is also a creative mind, you can both do the same thing in different ways!

    And besides, the project is not the first of its kind. There are dozens of them out there on the net. Rather than feel antagonized, rub minds with the person who has similar ideas with you, you’ll be shocked that both of you can run your projects differently even if they are similar, and you’ll have a confidant rather than a competitor. That’s the wise step.

    Don’t be discouraged, go ahead and do your thing…and make amends with the other person. I don’t think your ideas were stolen at all. I believe its the smartest step to take.

  4. Lady X

    LOL! Leggy Leggy! Look at you telling somebody to stop playing the victim. Is that not what you like doing? Please practice what you preach.

    SugaBelly carry on with your idea. Let’s bear in mind that SugaBelly has still not said it is Myne that stole her idea o! And until she says it I shall not jump to conclusions which Bloggers just love doing.

  5. Mamuje

    Lady X you are right. People should encourage them both with their ideas and stop instigating and fueling discord.

    Sugarbelly, move on and take your idea to higher grounds. You are young, smart and vibrant. Do something innovative and you’d be fine.

  6. enziga

    Lol Leggy haha u know I love u..
    But it seemed hella funny when u said sugarbelly should stop playing the victim..
    Hahah have u been to your own blog lately?
    Leggy am not trying to start nothing o, but am just saying in a friendly way..
    U urself play victim sometimes lol…
    Still love u babe

  7. leggy

    When I said she should stop playing the victim I meant she shouldn’t let this incident get her down and make her stop her own project.it could still be great.just felt I should clarify that.and besides,I play the victim?lmao.go to my blog lately and ask me when I’ve done that.it’s funny how people hold one incident close to their hearts forever and ever.

  8. Azazel

    Lol ahn ahn leggy me i was just kidding o..
    It’s all love, but i mean come on u have written some posts in which u played the victim hella bad… But that is all in the past abi?
    Ok a couple of other points though..
    U know I like to be a fair dude, now am going to question ur fairness in this deal..
    How can one seriously take ur advice to sugarbelly in a fair fashion? When your story “the gods of fate” is the top story on Naijastories??
    So ur ‘impartiality’ comes into serious question, would u still be giving SB the same advice if u were not profitting from the ‘said’ website set up by Myne???

    Am not castigating Myne’s website in anyway, am just questioning ur own personal sincerity.

  9. Lady X

    Leggy that is why I like you! You always manage to “cobalize” yourself. You said ‘go to my blog lately’ meaning you know that you have played the victim a few times but maybe not lately. Sha how would I know? I don’t go to your blog. See you can’t be unbiased in your views on this thing because you have contributed on that blog Myne has so you feel like it is also somehow an attack on you. I am not suprised sha! One incident ke one incident ni! Oya move along. Let us not start another “war”

  10. Waffarian

    Since I can not see that my long assed comment…it must have hit “go slow” for some reason, here, basically is my advice:

    It all depends on what the project means to you NOW. Not yesterday, not before you found out about the website, but NOW, at this very moment.

    If you feel still feel passionately about it, and you still think its important for you, then, fuck it. Go ahead with it.

    Two people can make the same kind of soup but it will taste totally different. To say the truth, I see no reason why there can not be some healthy competition. There are different kinds of Nigerian writers and Nigerian readers are different too. Don’t limit yourself just cos someone else has done it. So what?

    Do your own, jejey dey go. Maybe her own soup will have pepper but your own might have crayfish.

    BUT, if the whole experience has drained your passion and you really feel fucked up about the whole thing, then you got to let it go. If its gonna be a bitter taste in your mouth, then let it go.

    Better to make the same kind of soup that tastes different than to make a bitter soup. You get?

    So you see my dear, its all about what this means to you NOW. You just have to be honest with yourself and choose the path that feels right at the moment.

    Good luck.

  11. t04051

    The fact that you did not mention the persons name doesn’t mean anything. You have indirectly slandered this person. You can’t make baseless public allegations against someone and think its ok just because you did not mention the persons name… surely you are not that stupid. Even if no one else knows who you’re refering to you knew very well that the person would know!!! Is that fair? The mature thing would have been to confront the person privately.

  12. Jaycee

    Sugabelly, I have a suggestion. Why don’t you let this phenomenal idea of yours sit for a while in your mind? For today though, take your mind of it. Think of something nice to take your mind away. Decisions made in the midst of conflict never go down the drain well.

    And when you’ve taken your mind off it for a while, take Afronut’s advice (he has written a detailed response out of his experience).

    Lastly, in your last post, I suggested you give your project a different name…think of something CATCHY, such that regardless of what else is out there we, who sometimes read your writings, and every other person in the world would still want to know what you’ve got cooking in your own pot.

  13. Jaycee

    P.S: I think you’re worrying too much on whether or not people will think you copied the idea. No two websites are the same, just like our fingers are not equal. If you give me the same WordPress Template as someone else, I’m very sure we will have different titles and different blog inspirations.

  14. sugabelly

    @t04051: I did not make “baseless” accusations. Do you honestly think I wrote that post because I wanted to have fun?

    It’s rather much from you talking about stupidity if you think I would just get up in the morning and say something like that completely randomly for no reason.

    Yes there is an issue and a valid one but like I have already said I am not here to talk about the people involved in this, I am here to decide on how best to move forward.

    If you cannot process that then that’s on you.

  15. sugabelly

    @everyone: Thank you for your input. I will go ahead with the project. It is true what everyone has said (i.e. that no two people can do the same thing the same way) so I am content with that. I will also do as Jaycee has suggested by trying to take my mind off it and then coming back to look at things with a fresh perspective.

  16. Akin

    Sugabelly,

    I will not write a treatise as I am wont to on matters like this.

    Don’t cry, don’t get angry, get even and then get better.

    An idea whose time has come would win over anything else that has come before or might come after.

    Microsoft trumped IBM
    Iphone trumped other mobiles
    Yours can trump any other.

    Get doing and get busy.

    Regards,

    Akin

  17. sugabelly

    @t04051: And my point is I do not want to talk about it because I already decided I was going to let it go. Laying out details would just be unnecessary. I did not accuse anyone and I did not write the post to accuse anyone so stop asking me to give out information that I have already said from the word go that I WILL NOT DISCUSS FURTHER.

    I did not make any allegations based on feelings or speculations. I also did not make any allegations plain and simple. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but you need to realise that I am not going to talk about this matter any further than I already have no matter what you say. I am also not going to volunteer any further information about it. I had my reasons for not fingering anybody in my original post and I am sticking to them.

    If you think that’s stupid then sorry for you.

  18. t04051

    LMAO!!! If you were not “going to talk about it” you should not have indirectly publicly slandered this person! you should have approached the person privately. I’m sure you get my point now. Abi is it pity you wanted? You’re really funny.

  19. mellowyel

    and you, t04051, if you wish to slander Sugabelly, please keep to the privacy of both your inboxes. Nobody comes to this blog to read your personal attacks on the author so save it for an audience who cares (i.e. your esteemed self).

  20. F and M

    What is it today with my comments disappearing before my very eyes… The girl did just say she was trying to put the whole thing behind her and was looking FORWARD: hence the request for advice on how to proceed… Going back to “baseless” this and “argument” that is pointless, to be honest. Anyway, like I said already… I think you should go ahead. This kind of site wold be very helpful to people wishing to improve on their skiils and meet like-minds.

    BTW, am I going crazy or was there another post which you deleted? I clicked on the link and it had just vanished… lol… Anyway, I repeat: GO FOR IT. 🙂

  21. sugabelly

    @F and M: I don’t know what happened with blogger and that post. I guess maybe too many people tried to comment at once and it crashed or something hence the title for THIS post “I’ve run out of titles”.

    I’ll ignore comments like t40’s from now on. Thanks, I’ll go on with it.

  22. Geebee

    Abeg o. We don’t want no 2pac v BIG or JayZ v Nas kinda beef here o. Seriously now, you and whoever you were referring to need to squash this brewing tension like adults. Methinks someone owes someone an apology here. Let’s do the right thing please. First time here.

  23. MPB

    I am glad you decided to go on with your project. That being said, it’s also a pity that you are one of my favorite bloggers but your personality leaves much to be desired. You tend to be an incendiary when faced with conflict. You also don’t do well with critique and the opinions of others. You say your post, about someone stealing your ideas was just to get help with your dilemma, but if you were the person on the other end sentences like , “I don’t steal other people’s work and I am beyond hurt that anyone, especially someone I thought I knew to some degree should steal mine and then try to turn around and claim that it was their original idea especially when there is so much evidence that they did not even conceive such a thought until after I had already blogged about it in detail at least twice” are very inflammatory and accusatory. Because If I was the person, I’d want to show evidence that I wasn’t copying, which Myne rightly did. Either way, both sites are up and running. I will continue to support you both, ‘cos no one is perfect. But I just hope you continue to try and grow as a person even as you continue to grow with your talents and gifts.


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