Master Cleanse: First Day of Food

I completed the Ease Out for the Master Cleanse last night so today was meant to be my first day of eating normal food.

Let me share a little bit of wisdom. If you think the Master Cleanse is hard, you don’t know anything yet. Getting out of the Master Cleanse is TEN TIMES HARDER than doing the Cleanse itself. Today was HELL! You hear that? HELL I said!
I started out the day pretty okay. I had a small bowl of soup. Half way into my soup I decided to nibble one of those little crackers you always get with your soup.
First of all, I COULD NOT SWALLOW. I literally had to FORCE that chewed up cracker down my throat. Not more than one minute after swallowing that little cracker, my heart began to pound really fast and then my hands began to shake. I was really scared. I’m serious. I was so freaking scared. It felt like there was something wrong with me and my head felt all fuzzy. I basically said a quick prayer and was like “God, I can’t die now, I have to submit my Economic Analysis. Please don’t let me die!”.
About an hour and a half later I was feeling much better. The only thing was I was still feeling quite weak and I wasn’t sure whether it was because I didn’t have enough calories in my system or because my body was rejecting food. Either way I was scared shitless. I didn’t know whether to eat or to not eat. I did some research, found a good article on, and decided to compromise by eating yoghurt. You could even go as far as making your own yogurt, take a look at these Greek yogurt maker reviews for some ideas. The yoghurt went down really easily with no complaints from my body so I felt a lot better. I planned to pace myself with food and eat many small meals throughout the day to kick start my metabolism. I even thought about doing a full body cleanse to help myself recover.
About four hours later I drank a small can of V8 vegetable juice which had about 30 calories. However, in the middle of class I started feeling weak again so I got a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and sipped it slowly.
A couple of hours later I had some chili (beans and ground meat) and chicken but I couldn’t finish it. I only managed a few forkfuls before I couldn’t eat anymore. I wasn’t full, I just could not eat anything solid any more. Plus I had to chew each mouthful for two full minutes to make sure everything had turned to absolute liquid before I could swallow it. Any attempts to swallow anything even remotely solid just ended in choking and wanting to throw up.
I think I did pretty well. Somewhere it occurred to me that this might be what babies feel like when they get weaned. Learning to eat solid foods again after subsisting on practically nothing for two weeks feels terrible. Even the smell of any food makes me feel very ill.
Today I tried to get a small meal in every food group so I had soup (carbs, fats and oil), chili and soft boneless chicken (proteins), yoghurt, (good bacteria), hot chocolate (carbs), V8 (vegetables). I didn’t get every group but I’m about to take a multivitamin so that will cover my vitamins. I also had one or two grapes a while back so that gets fruits.
But yeah, this whole eating food business is not cute. I don’t think I have ever hated food this much in my life. Hopefully tomorrow will be much better. I was going to start exercising today, but now that I’ve seen what the weaning process is like I think I’m going to wait until next week before I start the heavy exercise in earnest. I’m currently doing sit-ups (some people call them crunches) but that’s all I’ll do for this week until I can walk about and eat or smell food without feeling physically ill.
And that’s all.
Off to colour with my Copics!! Yay!!!!

Update: Okay, it’s official: I fucking LOVE my Copic markers!!!

At this rate I’ll start colouring people when they’re asleep or something. I’m totally addicted!!!

Yay!! I’m improving!! I’m improving!!!!!

There are 11 comments

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  1. Lady X

    I’m beginning to suspect the secret point of the diet is to get you to not be able to eat anything solid and to hate the idea of eating thereby keeping the pounds off even after you’re off the diet.

  2. Vixen

    For exercise, you should try Power90 or P90X. I am currently doing P90X now and totally love it. It’s a hard workout, but you can do it at your own pace, and in your own space without hitting the gym. You should check out videos on Youtube, see the before and after results. Pretty much, 90 days and you are healthier and so close to the body of your dreams.

  3. Princessandthepea

    I’ve done quite a bit of fasting in the past and in my understanding what you experience after the cleanse has to do with more sensitive digestion. Enzyme rich raw fruits and juices are far easier to digest than processed solid foods that have to be broken down quite severely before the body can make use of them. That requires a lot of work by your digestive organs which you’ve avoided doing for some 14 days, so now as a result you can really notice the energy output involved in normal digestion. To make it easier on yourself get a digestive enzyme supplement from Wholefoods and take one with each non fruit/salad meal to help break things down and try to simplify your meals.

  4. The Misses

    When you started this was it hard for you not to eat and can you eat while you are doing it? I ask because i have a cousin who is really fat and i want to tell her about what you did but the girl loves food and i’m not sure she’ll do it without being able to eat anything.

    Congrats on your cleanse and continue to do those sit ups. Nice pics to btw.

  5. Myne Whitman

    That coloured head looks fabulous, I love the shade you incorporated. BTW, was wanting to talk to you about the fiction site. Maybe we could work together? Send me an email at myne@

  6. Formerly stealth reader

    OMG! I almost shit my pants from fear………….was hoping to ease out in 2 days time, bought some grapes n yoghurt today, scared. now feel like trying to eat it Now! to c if i can get it down………..
    ur funny after explaining d whole thing, u go copic copics mad!!lol
    God save me.

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