Jesus Te ama!
Todos que tengo es tuyos. Soy tuya y tuya quiero ser. Haca conmigo lo que haras.

=D lol. I speak spanish.

I dont want to ask, just keep the blog coming. Hilarious.
Lol. Thanks.
you’re often caught up in serious/intellectual discussions on your blog; do you do any normal/typical things for a woman your age than write & draw?What do you do for fun?
Erm… what’s normal for a woman my age? Well I dunno. I mean, I personally think I’m a pretty boring person. If you think otherwise I’m flattered. Aside from writing, drawing, watching anime and other questionable content on the internet (*cough* not that I have anything against content from sites like animehentaivideos xxx *cough*), dreaming of cute boys, obsessing over shoes, reading, going to concerts, hunting through African fairs for obscure Nigerian artifacts, reading Japanese blogs, dreaming of stealing entire museum collections of ancient Nigerian objects, obsessing over Barnes and Noble, lusting after traditional Nigerian footwear, playing the piano, drawing with my left hand, plotting world domination with my baby cousin, spying on the art classes at my school, looking forward to the day when I will have a pet serval named Allamin Daggash, displaying stalkerish behaviour in the presence of Hiroki Naramiya, and attempting to cook, no, I really don’t think there’s much I do that amuses me.
I wonder if you have an ugly soul. Do you?
Well… considering the fact that people generally can’t see souls, and considering the fact that at a time when you are opportune to actually check and see what your soul looks like you can’t (I seriously doubt if there are any mirrors in the afterlife) I really have no idea.

I might be an artist (albeit a questionable one) but even I am incapable of such leaps of imagination. Here’s what I think about my soul: I think it’s kinda shimmery. That’s as far as I’ve got.

You however, seem to have some kind of insight on this. So, what about you? Do you have an ugly soul?

do you consider your upbringing privilege compared to the average Nigerian?
Ah… how to answer this question?

I don’t consider my upbringing privileged at all, but then again, we have to compare mine to someone else’s.

The real question is: What kind of upbringing is considered “average” in Nigeria? Does average in Nigeria mean middle class? Or just okay? Or poor? Or really wealthy? Also, how much do experiences count towards this? (Upbringing isn’t just about financial wealth. It’s also about education, culture, exposure, etc)

I consider the upbringing of many of my friends somewhat more privileged compared to mine.

However, to be completely honest, I would say that I’m grateful that my Mom exposed me to as many positive influences and experiences as possible when I was growing up. I learned to read at an excessively young age (my mom taught me to read long before I even had any idea what ‘school’ was) and like many only children, I was (and still am) a voracious reader. I read everything. Books, newspapers, Obstretrics manuals (although my aunt screamed and took it away when she found me sitting on the toilet with my nose buried in a page graphically describing how to assist a birth), receipts, sign boards, everything. I didn’t have many friends as a child so I became very adept at activities that you can do alone.

I played piano, I was training to be a gymnast, I played tennis and swam all the time, I had lots of toys, more so than most of my friends at the time, I was allowed to do a lot of things, go to a lot of places, and voice my opinions in such a way that I think (at the time) most Nigerians would have frowned upon a child being allowed to and I will forever be grateful for that. I’ve lived in all sorts of places and met all sorts of people, and while growing up I experienced a variety of financial situations.

Not that I was ever explicitly made aware of them as I was still a child, but I know that we’ve been wealthy, comfortable, struggling, almost poor, semi-homeless, and then back again. So it’s not like I had one singular experience all the while I was growing up. I will say though, that whatever the situation was, my Mom has always done her best to maintain a certain standard of living for us, and she saw to it that I went to the best schools and got the best education available in Nigeria (yay Loyola!!)

A certain standard of behaviour? Comportment? I’m reaching for words here so forgive me if it doesn’t really make sense has always been expected of me no matter what the situation was so I’m sort of an aje hybrid.Of course I was quite rebellious so any impressions that I was this prim and proper person are highly inaccurate. Not that aje is exclusively symbolic of being well educated, well spoken, well read, well behaved, and so on, but that despite the variedness of my experiences, a lot of people might say off the bat ‘she’s kinda aje’ (or at least that is what they would have said in 90’s Nigeria – these days I don’t think people care as much).

So, having rambled to this point, do I consider my upbringing privileged compared to the average Nigerian?

Maybe a little bit but only by a small bit. I mean, compared to lots of people in Nigeria, it wasn’t all that, but at least my childhood is precious to me. I enjoyed it immensely, I’m eternally grateful for it and I would do it all over again if I had the chance.

Aww!! Now this is making me teary eyed. Thanks Mom!!! I love you. =D

do you consider yourself an attractive person, physically & mentally?
It kinda varies. I mean, I have days (or at least I HAD days) when I look in the mirror and I’m like ‘yeah’. But then I also have days when I think I look like crap.

Every girl has some sort of insecurity about her looks and I’m no different. I think I’m fairly pretty. I’m not expecting to walk into Miss World and blow them away but I think I would be attracted to me if I were a guy.

Mentally is a whole different ball game. Intelligence is always good, and while I would say I’m pretty intelligent, I also went to a school where EVERYONE was intelligent (and some people were FREAKISHLY intelligent – *side eye* Greg Ugwi) so it’s not like I spend my afternoons stroking my brow and thinking to myself ‘damn, I’m smart’.

I don’t always like the way my mind works. To be honest, I’ve done a lot of growing mentally and it is rather creepy to realise that my thinking pattern has actually changed over the years (meaning that somehow I’m not the same person I was two years ago, and yet the same) but the long and short of this is: For the most part, I think I’m mentally attractive.

Of course, there are sides of me that some people might not like. Hell, there are sides of me that I don’t like. And if you’re looking for a rocket scientist or someone to derive E=MC2 with you then but can we have an interesting conversation? Yeah, I would say so.

Who are you, why cant we comment on your blog?
My name is Chinwe Chika Chilala, African Chiquita Numba 1.

I kid. On teh interwebz, I’m called Sugabelly.

As for why you can’t comment on my blog, I have no idea. You’ll have to take that up with Google/Blogger.

Although if it’s any help, anonymous commenters can’t comment on my blog due to abuse of commenting privileges. If you’re anonymous then you’ll have to get some sort of online ID (join Blogger or OpenID) to comment on my blog.

wht is this abt
My dear anonymous questioner, whatever do you mean?
Why must you only see the color?
What colour? I’m sorry I don’t understand your question but in consolation I can confirm that I, Sugabelly, like most humans can see in full colour vision. Also if it interests you, I can reveal that I have on occasion, dreamed in black and white.
how do you say “all the best” in igbo?
See the problem is: Igbo and English are not parallel languages. You can’t expect English expressions to exist in Igbo and you can’t expect Igbo expressions to exist in English.

There is no way to say ‘all the best’ in Igbo.

There are however, EQUIVALENT expressions in Igbo but they don’t translate LITERALLY to ‘all the best’

Probably you could say ‘Bute ofa’. Ofa is luck (luck is also Awele) and Bute is ‘bring’. However, the expression ‘Bute ofa’ is often used to mean have luck or good fortune. So while I could say M bute ofa to mean I was lucky or whatever I did went well, you could say ‘Bute ofa’ to someone else to convey your wish that things go well with them.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY Igbo expression that could be used in place of ‘all the best’, it’s just one example. All I’m saying is just don’t go looking for expressions from language A in language B. Unless the languages are parallel (meaning that DIRECT conversion is possible throughout between the two) you won’t find them.

do you think you can’t be desirable even though you’re big? y the obsession to be thin
Of course you can be desirable even though you’re big. But PERSONALLY though, I don’t think being the weight/size I am right now suits me. Everyone’s body is different and there are people that look great at every size, but I think I look a lot better (and feel more desirable) at 125 – 135 lbs than I do now.

I’m not obsessed with being thin. I desire to be SLIM. There IS a difference. I want to be at a weight where my body is capable of carrying out the full range of human motion without discomfort. I don’t want to constantly fear for my health or worry that some weight-related medical condition might creep up on me suddenly. At the same time, I want to be able to wear clothes that fit and hang in a flattering way. While it might be true that clothes are made in all sizes, the fact is, slim people LOOK BETTER in clothes than do larger or even thinner people.

I have written a post about my weight issues and why I want to lose weight but to summarise here, I should NOT have to sit down and catch my breath after climbing up four steps.

I don’t care what anyone says but that is NOT normal and it is not healthy for a human being. I don’t think being fat is a good thing and I don’t think being thin is a good thing either. I think the only acceptable way to be is slim. I’m sure there are lots of people that might disagree but that is how I feel. I’m also sure that there are lots of people ten times fatter than I am and that feel perfectly fine, but at the end of the day, that’s them and not me.

At this weight and size, I not only feel unhealthy but rather unattractive. I know the general lack of attraction towards fat people is evolutionary (animals are most attracted to mates that appear HEALTHY) but there is still a grain of truth at the bottom of that evolutionary impulse (excessive fatness is generally unhealthy).

So, it’s not that I think I CAN’T be desirable (and I’m sure that there are at least five men out there that would find me attractive now) but it’s more that I would rather be within the acceptable health standard that I have set for myself and let my outer attractiveness be a reflection of my inner improved health.

There are 5 comments

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  1. KG

    Sugabelly, you continue to amaze me. You speak Spanish for real? The deftness with which you expressed those tenses sure provides a lot of evidence!! 🙂
    And you are certainly NOT a boring person. Nowhere near that in fact.

  2. Anyaposh

    ok, confession time. I asked questions 3-6. About the ugly soul question; no offense. Sometimes when I read your blog, some comments you make are erratic or seem as if you’re seething.

    I’ve been having a debate with my girlfriends about the human propensity for good & evil. I choose to believe that everyone is some sort of ying-yang of the two & we could sway in either direction. I think I’m a “good” person, but sometimes I question my intentions to do tremendous evil – not necessarily evil in the sense of murder or witchcraft, but evil in terms of my propensity for revenge and punishment on whomever I deem deserving. So in answer to that question; no, I don’t have an ugly soul but it often morphs into something diabolic in the event of betrayal or deceit.

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