School, Work, a Zoo Trip, and Bra Failure

The Blogger’s Apology: A customary acknowledgment of failure to post and promise of future compliance common to blogger’s the world over.

In other words, I’m sorry for not updating.

School has been majorly kicking my ass. Midterms just ended and even though I came through okay (two As, three Bs, and a C – damn that C), I feel thoroughly exhausted. Who sent me to do 18 credits? I have no idea.

Okay so I’m no stranger to being broke, but this week I managed to come up with $4 for a day trip to the zoo. I figured it wouldn’t hurt and anyway I hadn’t been to a zoo since I got to America anyway [which sucks by the way because the Smithsonian Zoo in DC kicks ass], so I put on my new beautiful wedge winter boots and went. The walk there wasn’t so bad. I went with a group of friends and we chatted on the way and I took pictures of all the cool Halloween decorations I spotted along the way. Like this one for example, which really creeps me out. The zoo itself was great, if smelly. Goodness!! Gorilla poo stinks to high heaven. It has to be the worst, most cloying, smothering, suffocating smell I have ever endured, and when you enter the gorilla house, it just claps itself around your face and won’t let go. I almost threw up, but after a while you get used to it. Besides the smell, the gorillas were very funny. I walked in on one spreading a bed sheet the way we make beds and then lying on it and cuddling in it. Another gorilla was making trouble with a drum. I also got some underwater pictures of some otters (they are the cutest creatures ever but they wouldn’t stay still and let me get a good shot). Check out the rest of my zoo pictures at the bottom.
On the way back was when the drama started. Sadly, I had overestimated my ability to walk in my new boots, and I hadn’t got hundred feet from the zoo when I realised that my feet were killing me. I tried to walk another couple of blocks and ignore the pain but soon it was impossible. I stopped at a bus stop with my friends and howled as I tried to stand up again. Eventually, one of my friends got impatient and left us there. I took of my boots and my feet were swollen so I decided to tough it out and limped barefoot, boots in hand to my friend’s dorm. [there was no way I could make it to my dorm, it was too far away]. When we got to the dorm, our other friend was there making puff-puff and I happily climbed on a bar stool and indulged myself in all the sugary goodness. There was this French boy making an omellette too and I coaxed him into giving me half of his dinner which he did ever so graciously. The day didn’t end so badly afterall, as we laughed the evening away, munching on eggs, potatoes, puff-puff, and gossiping in French about Nicholas Sarkozy and why Segolene Royal is a bigger bitch than Carla Bruni.

This of course, pales in comparison to what happened to me today in the middle of my Management exam.

Today, I experienced Bra Failure.

I repeat B-R-A F-A-I-L-U-R-E

I mean my damn bra just bloody gave out in the middle of the exam. One minute I’m weighing the consequences of Henry Ford’s dictatorial managerial style and the next there I am, nipples a-poking through my shirt, and my breasts jiggling with every shade of my Number 2 pencil. To say I was mortified is the biggest understatement EVER. And my professor was at the front of the class!! Plus, the collapsed bra made me look like some sort of weird four-breasted alien and kept digging into me. It was at this moment that I wished I had tried bra tape instead of wearing the world’s most uncomfy (and clearly broken) bra. This way I would have had supported boobs and no embarrassing situation. If I was white, I’d have been beet-red. Thank goodness my hoodie is one of those clingy-at-the-bottom types because when I stood up to turn in my paper it would have fallen straight out onto the floor, and then I would have had to transfer schools.

I’m safely back in my dorm and about to go buy a needle and some thread so I can sew the offending bra tighter, stronger, and better than ever before. My bra is a fighter!! It refuses to be conquered by my ever-growing boobs!! That-that-that-that-that don’t kill it, will only make it stronger. I need to hurry up now, cause I can’t wait much longer. Nevertheless, I should look online for the best strapless bra to replace this one when I have time.

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  1. sugabelly

    @standtall: thanks. Oooh the lions were sleeping as usual but I saw them clearly.

    @sulhip: sell my beloved shoes? you crazy? Ah, I’m soaking garri to save for needle and thread

    just toluwa: lol.. I am broke o!! No money for bra

    fff: lol it’s awful

    lolia: if you tell any of our children or grandchildren… I will strap you to a chair and force akara and pap down your throat for five hours

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