Elwe Singollo

I never knew it would be so hard. And that the fear would be so paralyzing. I kept trying to throw him, off, and I just couldn’t. He was forcing my legs apart, and I was so afraid. So I bit him. Bit hard, anywhere I could get, until I tasted blood. And still he had his arm wrapped around my neck. And with one hand fingered me. Vile creature.

And I screamed, and screamed, and no one came. And finally, in the doorway I saw Mr. T. But he just looked into my eyes, smiled, and shut the door. I think my screams still came through. But he wouldn’t come. And in that moment my heart truly broke. For the final time. And I did not care anymore what happened. And the monster thought he would have his way,but in the end Mr. T came in and pulled him off me. I kicked him in the ribs as he loosened his stranglehold, and gathered my clothes about me.

Still the tears would not come. I dressed hurriedly in case he should come in again, and came out into the parlor where they were all seated. He was there. Elwe. and I hurt because I knew he had heard, and he had not cared. After everything that has happened between us, he still cannot see me as human. Worth saving. So I stood before him in shame, the bite his cousin had given me in retaliation swelling rapidly on my nose. And he said it was not rape.

Who set you as a judge over us?

If he did not try to rape me as he claims, what happened? How could you? How could you believe him and not me? How could you? They all heard me screaming. They all knew. And you, the one who mattered most to me; the one to whom I ran for refuge are judge over, and condemn me.

Fuck you. Who set you as a judge over us? Who set you as a judge over me?

The voices are still there. You did! You did!They whisper as they flit from ear to ear. You did, and you are to blame for this we fear.

My love, my heart, my soul. This body is yours but will be no one else’s. And I DO NOT care what he saw me do with you. I am sworn to you, and no one else. I am bloody as hell not his fucking entitlement. Whatever the fuck he might think. Whatever he saw, whatever he wanted, and whatever bitter blood flows in his veins. I will open those same veins and drain him rather than let him touch what is yours.

Or mine.

So, fuck you, cousin of my Elwe. Fuck you to fucking hell for what you did.

I hate you.

For your lust.

For your pride.

For everything you think that you stand for.

And above all things, for putting your grubby paws on me.

And I swear, if you ever come near me, or any of mine ever again. I will slit your throat until you gape, smiling from ear to ear. And then, you may have the last laugh.

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