Blue Skies

I am front desk officer today. I suppose that means that I just sit at the reception and look pretty. Get the visitors to state their business. Smile, genuflect. Etc. Whatever. He came last night. It was raining. I was talking about him, and he just stepped into the room. He shook everyone and then hugged me. The world as I had been trying to hold it together fell apart.

I followed him downstairs because they were all watching. Every one of them to see what would happen. If I would break, and throw myself at him. If I could bear to leave his side. I didn’t even know Namu came with him until I got to the car. I strolled through the rain. He ran. He’d only come to pick something up from Thomas, but he had to make a show in SEG. I like it when it rains, usually. Yesterday, it gave me the blues. He’ll be going to Lagos next week. He was supposed to go this weekend. It hurt my heart to hear him say it.

I had to ask ‘When will you leave?’, ‘When will you get back?’, ‘Can I see you?’. But that’s all I could ask. Not all I wanted to. I wanted to ask if I could kiss him goodbye. But some one might see. It was rainy and the sky was overcast, and their car was parked in the shade of an agbalumo tree, but he didn’t want that.

I am so afraid these days, to incur his anger. So afraid. Not because he yells, and shouts, and pushes me. But because he might take away the one thing that is holding me up, and giving me the will to stand. Himself.

Aren’t you………….my little beast-whore………cute?



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  1. Dunsin

    Lotanna(I think), your blog is addictive. I feel like I’m reading a novel. You write your life and heartout unashamedly. Beautiful. But I’m so sorry Elwe is such a user. I know how you felt…partially. That feeling of not wanting to lose who you think is your one true love. You’d do anything. Go anywhere. So stupid. But I’m so sorry.


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